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Advent: A Season of Hope

28/11/2022

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St Benet's Church, Cambridge.

​This year, I have the opportunity to spend a cold and wet Advent season in the UK. Advent is my favourite time of the year. In the church, the liturgy takes on a slightly different shape. The hymns carry the theme of longing, waiting, and expectation; the liturgical colour is purple; the Gloria in Excelsis Deo (Glory to God in the Highest) is replaced with Kyrie Eleison (Lord, Have Mercy); and the Advent wreath replaces the flowers. The lighting of the Advent candles reminds us to keep awake, watch, wait, for as we prepare for Christ’s coming.

In the Northern Hemisphere, Advent is also the darkest season of the year (and very wet and gloomy where I am at the moment). Perhaps this is an appropriate reminder of the broken world we live in, and how much more we need the light of Christ to shine in the darkness of our world. As we prepare ourselves for Christmas and celebrate the coming of the Christ child, we also look forward in anticipation of his Second Coming where he will come to reign as King and Judge. At the same time, we pray and long for a better Malaysia, especially after the recently concluded GE15 resulting in a hung parliament. We give thanks for the appointment of a new Prime Minister. Yet, we are reminded that our real hope is not found in the politics of the nation. It is only anchored in Christ, who died and rose, and who will come again.

Advent: a season of waiting, a season of longing, a season of anticipation. But it is never a season without hope.
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MCO and Social Distancing on the First Easter

11/4/2020

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Christ is risen. He is risen indeed, hallelujah!
 
Good Friday ends in darkness and despair. But Easter is glorious. It gives us new hope. It gives us new meaning to our existence. It speaks of the victory of Christ against sin and death. Yet, Easter is different this year because of the COVID-19 pandemic. For many of us who may be accustomed to Easter celebration, drama production, large-scale evangelistic campaigns, this year’s celebration certainly seems less triumphal, celebratory, and glorious.
 
However, if we go back to the first Easter, things seem less glorious too. In John 20 there seems to be no sense of rejoicing. No one shouted: “Christ is Risen!”, and no one replied: “He is risen indeed.” All the disciples were in hiding. They had their own Movement Control Order (MCO), practised social distancing, and locked the door for the fear of the Jewish leaders (John 20:19). They imposed on themselves some measure of self-quarantine. They were full of fear, anxiety, and worry.
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An example of what an empty tomb looks like today.
​It was not until the first Easter evening when Jesus appeared to the disciples in the place where they were staying that they were overjoyed. Yet, one of the disciples, Thomas, was not present and doubted the resurrection of Christ. The following week, the disciples were still under MCO, and continued to practise social distancing and self-quarantine. Jesus appeared the second time to the disciples, and Thomas had his doubt removed.
 
There was hardly any victorious celebration on the first two Easter Sundays according to the narrative in John 20. Although Jesus had already appeared twice to the disciples, there was fear, anxiety, worry, and doubt. All they did was to go into hiding for a whole week. They had their self-imposed lockdown. No one proclaimed, “Jesus is risen” despite Jesus appearing twice to them.
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Church of the Primacy of Peter by the Sea of Galilee, a site where according to tradition, the narrative of John 21 took place here.
​Moving to John 21, the disciples came out from hiding in Jerusalem and travelled to Galilee. Yet, there was no sense of rejoicing and celebration. Instead, there seems to be a sense of loss and confusion among the disciples. Peter and six other disciples decided to go back fishing. There are many speculative reasons as to why they did so. Some suggest that they were disillusioned. Others suggest that they were at a loss as to what to do next. Still others suggest that they were confused by recent events surrounding the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. Whatever the reasons, the fishing trip turned out to be a fruitless effort. It was not until Jesus appeared for the third time (John 21:14) to the disciples and directed them to cast the net on the other side that they had a full net of fish.
 

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The altar inside the Church of the Primacy of Peter. The bedrock is believed to be the place where Jesus prepared breakfast for the disciples. Mensa Christi means "the Table of Christ."
Jesus then invited the disciple to have breakfast with him, with ikan bakar and roti bakar as the menu (John 21:9).

After breakfast, we read a moving account of the restoration and recommissioning of Peter after he came to terms with his own failure. Three times Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?” and three times Peter answered in the affirmative (John 21:15-17).

​Even though Peter had earlier denied Jesus three times, deep within, he still loved the Lord dearly. Jesus then recommissioned Peter by reminding him his calling: “Feed my lambs… Tend my sheep… Feed my sheep…” (John 21:15, 16, 17).  
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​After this, Jesus issued a final call to Peter: “Follow me” (John 21:19, 22). This is probably the most significant moment for Peter. Notice that these are the very same words used by Jesus in his initial calling of Peter and the other fishermen to leave their nets by the Sea of Galilee (Mark 1:16-18; Matthew 4:18-20). These disciples did so immediately. But after a series of failures to understand his mission and ministry at Caesarea Philippi (see Chapter 13), Jesus issued the second call to the disciples, including Peter, to deny themselves and take up their cross and “follow me” (Mark 8:34; Matthew 16:24; Luke 9:23). After the resurrection of the Lord, Jesus restored Peter by issuing the third call to discipleship by the Sea of Galilee: “Follow me” (John 21:19, 22). Peter took this third call to discipleship seriously. After Pentecost, Peter became one of the pillars of the church in Jerusalem. Years later, he wrote a letter to a group of persecuted Christians located what is now known as modern Turkey. He reminded them:

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The statue of Peter outside the Church of the Primacy of Peter, depicting Jesus restoring him.
To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. (1 Peter 5:1-4)

In exhorting the leaders of persecuted Church in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, Peter reminds them the the words of Jesus to him: “Follow me. Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep.”
 
Peter remained faithful to his calling till his martyrdom in the 60s CE. According to the early church tradition, Peter was crucified on the cross upside-down with his head down on the ground and feet raised on high, asserting that he was not worthy to be crucified in the same manner as his Lord.
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These heart-shaped stones are known as the Twelve Thrones, commemorating the twelve disciples, some of whom Jesus called by the Sea of Galilee.
​For the disciples, Easter is a new beginning for them. While there may not be much celebration on that first Easter, the impact of the resurrection of Christ changed them. The narrative of the restoration of Peter is an inspiration and encouragement to us today. If we feel that we are not worthy to serve the Lord because of our past failures, this passage reminds us that Jesus is not finished with us yet. Jesus called Peter again for the third time, “Follow me” after his resurrection. He was patient with Peter, and he gave Peter all the time and space for him to ponder, reflect, and respond. Jesus is calling us again today. Our current situation may also offer us the time and space needed for us to pause, reflect, and respond to the resurrected Lord. Easter is a new beginning.
 
Like the disciples, we may be at the crossroads of our lives, feeling lost and not knowing the next step we should take. We may be confused by recent events we have encountered. We may be worried about the post-COVID-19 aftermath. Some of us may be concerned with our business, employment, and our financial cash flow. In moments of frustration, disappointment, and discouragement, we may choose to go our own way and do things according to our own strength and effort. Some of us may have gone back “fishing” because it is the only thing we know what to do. Despite our failures, Jesus wants to reinstate and restore us to serve him. Easter gives us hope.
 
Like the disciples, in moments like these, it is time to accept the invitation of our Lord to have breakfast with him (John 21:12). It is time to renew our strength in his presence. It is time to sit at his feet again to hear his voice and guidance so that we can be his effective servants: “Feed my lambs… Tend my sheep… Feed my sheep… Follow me” (John 21:15, 16, 17, 19). 
 
This year’s Easter may be a bit quiet, and is certainly very different from what we may have been used to. Nevertheless, as we remember the confusion, the sense of loss, and the anxiety and fear of the disciples on the first Easter, may we be reminded that Easter is a new beginning and it gives us hope. May we be renewed on this Easter day. May we be reminded afresh why we follow Jesus. May we hear afresh his calling once again: “Follow me.” And most importantly, let us not forget to have breakfast with the resurrected Jesus – he is waiting for us. 
 
Christ is risen. He is risen indeed. Hallelujah. 
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Come, let us have breakfast with the risen Christ. He is inviting us and waiting for us (John 21:12)
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Reflection: COVID-19 and Celebrating the Holy Communion

1/4/2020

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We are living in unprecedented time. We are all affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. These past few weeks, we are reminded that our lives are fragile, vulnerable, and ultimately subject to the power and grace of God. Life certainly does not go on as normal.
 
This is probably the first time that we could not meet together physically as a family of God during the Movement Control Order (MCO) imposed by the Malaysian government. This affects all our services for the Holy Week, one of the most important seasons for Christians. We cannot come together physically to commemorate the death and resurrection of our Lord. We cannot come together to celebrate the Holy Communion. 
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Photo credit: St Paul's Church, Petaling Jaya
​Celebrating the Holy Communion is probably one of the most sacred rites for me as a priest. There has been ongoing discussion whether the Holy Communion can be celebrated virtually or not (for example, see the excellent essay by Ian Paul, “(How) can we celebrate Holy Communion as ‘online’ church?”). Biblical Graduate School of Theology, Singapore, has also produced a theological advisory on remote celebration of the Holy Communion. At the moment, there is no virtual Holy Communion for the Diocese of West Malaysia. 
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There is a sense of emptiness in me, a sense of despair, and a sense of frustration for not being able to gather together as a community to celebrate the Holy Communion. While I do participate in virtual services online, somehow it can never replace a real physical community where we recite the Nicene Creed together, we confess our sins together and hear the absolution pronounced, we share the peace of God with one another, and where I serve the host to those who come forward to receive the body of the Lord. For me, there is something missing.
 
This reminds me of how the Israelites of old lamenting and crying out to God while they were in exile. They could not worship in the Temple. They could only look back to the time they worshipped the Lord in his holy place. They longed for the coming of the Messiah to deliver them.
By the rivers of Babylon--
there we sat down and there we wept
when we remembered Zion. 
On the willows there we hung up our harps. 
For there our captors asked us for songs,
and our tormentors asked for mirth, saying,
“Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
How could we sing the LORD’S song in a foreign land?
(Ps 137:1-5)
​Taking it positively, the MCO creates in me a strong thirst and hunger for the day when we could finally meet together again. It creates this deep longing and anticipation in wanting to run back to the church the day it is permissible to do so, and to worship as a community, sing praises to God, share the peace of God with one another, bring our offerings and the fruit of our labour to the altar, and celebrate the Holy Communion with the saints. As a priest, I long for the day where I could hold and lift up the host and break it. It is a true hunger, longing, and anticipation to have a foretaste of the promised heavenly banquet here on earth.

​Celebrating the Holy Communion is not merely to remember the death of Jesus (1 Cor 11:23-25). It is also a proclamation of the coming of the Lord again. St Paul reminds us: “For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes” (1 Cor 11:26). The Holy Communion itself expresses this deep longing and anticipation of the coming of the Lord. We look forward to the Great Banquet. It creates in us the cry: Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus (1 Cor 16:22). And this is the greatest hope of our Christian faith.
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Photo credit: St Paul's Church, Petaling Jaya
The current global crisis causes me to rethink the meaning of gathering together as the people of God. Never before do I truly appreciate the church, the body of Christ. Not being able to celebrate the Holy Communion allows me to have a deeper appreciation of the salvific work of Christ, more so in this Lenten season. Despite the lament of the current crisis, I remain hopeful in the Lord. 
 
I can’t imagine how it would feel like when the church meets again in the future. I think tears might just roll down my face when I can finally hold and lift up the host, and break it and hear the “piak” sound and say: “We break this bread to share in the body of Christ.” 
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My Ordination on 15 August 2019

27/8/2019

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On August 15, 2019, my journey to the Anglican church marked another milestone when I was ordained as a Priest in the Diocese of West Malaysia, on the Feast of St Mary the Virgin at St Mary's Cathedral. 
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I have earlier shared about my personal journey to the Anglican church. The journey to priesthood is a continuation of the same journey, after having served the church and the seminary for 19 years. And I will continue to serve the church and the seminary, God willing, for the years ahead.

Thank you to many who have journeyed with me, supported me, and encouragement me all these years. I am thankful for all these the fellowship in the ministry of the gospel. 

Photo credits: Simon Kang and John Chan.
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Ordination as priest
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Presentation of the Bible from the Archbishop
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Presenting the new priests
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Sharing a light moment
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Celebrating the Eucharist
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Pronouncing the blessing
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Why Am I An Anglican?

16/9/2018

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Anglican: Huh? No Way? What Took You So Long?

​A number of people have asked me about my journey to the Anglican church. Some are rather surprised by my decision while some expected it. Still others are amazed that it has taken me so long! Indeed, it has been a long journey for me. This journey to the Anglican church has taken more than 10 years. As I prepare for my ordination as a Deacon on Oct 31, 2018, I thought it would be good for me to pen down some of my reflections on my personal journey of faith.
 
Some have asked why I walked away from my Evangelical roots. Let me clarify. I did not run away from my Evangelical roots. It was not some strong push factors that tipped me over the other side. Rather, I was being drawn to something else. 
 
Over the last 10 years or so, there has been a greater desire drawing me towards the ancient practices and teachings rooted in the rich history and tradition of the church. As I began to explore the various strands of Christian spirituality, formation, and worship, I was drawn to Anglicanism with its immense value and richness in its history, theology, and practice. 
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​This journey of discovery continued for many years. It was not until the beginning of 2015 that I decided to make St Paul’s Church, Petaling Jaya, my spiritual home, after a period of prayers, discernment, and consultation with my mentors and spiritual directors. I was confirmed as an Anglican at St Mark’s Church, Seremban, on January 14, 2018.
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​I think it is important to state that I did not run, and I am not running from my former church. In fact, the church I left is a great church that places strong emphasis on worship, preaching, and mission. I love that church and the people there. Many friendships have been forged and we remain good and close friends until today. I am so indebted to many people there who care for me. Many invested in me and helped me become a more Christ-like person. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve the church and the people for more than 20 years as a Pastor, leader, and Board Member.
 
Here are some reasons why I am an Anglican.

1. Liturgical Worship

​I have grown to love liturgy in worship. While some may find liturgy to be rigid, I discover it to be beautiful, meaningful, and moving. I learn to worship with my whole body that engages with all my senses – standing, kneeling, crossing myself, taking in the smell of incense (if incense is used), exchanging the Peace, receiving the Eucharist, and being sent out to love and serve the Lord. In liturgical spaces, all that I do become meaningful and symbolic. 
 
The liturgical calendar also reminds me of the various seasons of the year, moving from Advent to Christmas, Lent, Easter, Pentecost and Christ the King. In between, we commemorate other important Holy Days. As a community, we move through the seasons of the liturgical year together. We fast and feast together. There is a deep sense of celebrating and commemorating the different seasons of the liturgical calendar.

2. The Book of Common Prayer & The Daily Office

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​The Book of Common Prayer helps me pray when I lack original words or even the desire to pray. The prayers are beautifully and biblically crafted. The Daily Office provides me a guide for reading the Bible systematically, confess my sins daily, and offer prayers and intercessions to God on behalf of the world. Each day, the readings cover the Old Testament, Psalm, and the New Testament. 
 
By observing the Daily Office, I develop the habit of starting and ending each day with prayer and contemplation as the perfect bookends for my days. These orders for daily worship not only form the backbone of Anglican spirituality but provide a proven rhythm of devotion to God that is deeply rooted in the Scripture. It is a healthy spiritual discipline for me. 

3. Theological Breadth

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The theological formulations found in the Thirty-nine Articles clearly express what the gospel of Jesus Christ is. Together with the Book of Homilies, the Book of Common Prayer, and the historic creeds, I find the declarations of the great doctrines the Anglicans hold on to. God is worshipped in all his grandeur as creator. The work of Christ in his death and resurrection for the salvation of humanity is central. The Spirit in convicting sin and dwells in the lives of his people is emphasised. The truth of the Scripture is expressed with clarity. 
 
All these works never replace the Bible. At the heart of Anglican theology is the Bible. There is a well-known collect used by Anglicans for many centuries, reminding us that the Bible is the revelation of God through the words of human beings:

Blessed Lord, you have caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: grant that we may so hear them, read, mark, learn and inwardly digest them, that, by patience and comfort of your holy word we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Saviour Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

4. The Anglican Communion

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​One of the beautiful expressions of the Anglican Church is that we are never alone. We are not an independent church in a particular town or city. We are part of a large, historical, diverse, and global community. 
 
Whenever we gather to worship - whether we belong to a cathedral, a parish in a large metropolis or a small church in a tiny rural village that is cut off from the rest of the world - we are still engaging with a common faith, reading the same Scripture passages, praying the same prayers, confessing alongside one another, and participating in the Eucharist, despite our differences in ethnicity, culture, and language. 
 
Yet at the same time, we also recognise that all of us are shaped and formed by the culture of the communities we belong to. With this regards, there is respect for different areas of involvement in the church based on our unique local expressions, actions, issues. 

What’s Next?

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​I have shared some primary reasons that draw me into a way of life and a way of being a Christian in the Anglican Church. Of course, there are more reasons than what I have stated. There are personal reasons too: Teaching in an ecumenical seminary where the Anglican Church is one of the founding denominations; students whom I had taught in the past are now colleagues in the ministry; and many others. However, I have come to believe that this is where I belong, and for me, it is good to have a sense of coming home. I do understand this is a personal journey - what works for me may not necessary work for others. As long as we find a home where we worship God, serve the people, and grow in maturity with the community, that is the best place to belong.
 
As a minister of the gospel since 2009 with the Evangelical Free Church of Malaysia, it is only natural that I seek for ordination in the Diocese of West Malaysia. With the encouragement of the Bishop and fellow colleagues, I have decided to offer myself as a candidate for the Holy Office. Having gone through the process of interview and fulfilling the requirements stipulated by the Diocese, the first reading of Si Quis was done on September 16, 2018 at my home church, St Paul’s Church, paving the way for my ordination as a Deacon, God willing, on Reformation Day, October 31, 2018.
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    Lecturer in New Testament Studies at Seminari Theoloji Malaysia. You can find out more about me by clicking here. 


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    My engagement in conversation with issues, reflections, and concerns related to my vocation as a seminary lecturer and theological education in general. Opinions expressed in this blog are strictly my personal views and do not represent the official position of the seminary


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