​This year, I have the opportunity to spend a cold and wet Advent season in the UK. Advent is my favourite time of the year. In the church, the liturgy takes on a slightly different shape. The hymns carry the theme of longing, waiting, and expectation; the liturgical colour is purple; the Gloria in Excelsis Deo (Glory to God in the Highest) is replaced with Kyrie Eleison (Lord, Have Mercy); and the Advent wreath replaces the flowers. The lighting of the Advent candles reminds us to keep awake, watch, wait, for as we prepare for Christ’s coming.

In the Northern Hemisphere, Advent is also the darkest season of the year (and very wet and gloomy where I am at the moment). Perhaps this is an appropriate reminder of the broken world we live in, and how much more we need the light of Christ to shine in the darkness of our world. As we prepare ourselves for Christmas and celebrate the coming of the Christ child, we also look forward in anticipation of his Second Coming where he will come to reign as King and Judge. At the same time, we pray and long for a better Malaysia, especially after the recently concluded GE15 resulting in a hung parliament. We give thanks for the appointment of a new Prime Minister. Yet, we are reminded that our real hope is not found in the politics of the nation. It is only anchored in Christ, who died and rose, and who will come again.

Advent: a season of waiting, a season of longing, a season of anticipation. But it is never a season without hope.

Christ is risen. He is risen indeed, hallelujah!
 
Good Friday ends in darkness and despair. But Easter is glorious. It gives us new hope. It gives us new meaning to our existence. It speaks of the victory of Christ against sin and death. Yet, Easter is different this year because of the COVID-19 pandemic. For many of us who may be accustomed to Easter celebration, drama production, large-scale evangelistic campaigns, this year’s celebration certainly seems less triumphal, celebratory, and glorious.
 
However, if we go back to the first Easter, things seem less glorious too. In John 20 there seems to be no sense of rejoicing. No one shouted: “Christ is Risen!”, and no one replied: “He is risen indeed.” All the disciples were in hiding. They had their own Movement Control Order (MCO), practised social distancing, and locked the door for the fear of the Jewish leaders (John 20:19). They imposed on themselves some measure of self-quarantine. They were full of fear, anxiety, and worry.

​It was not until the first Easter evening when Jesus appeared to the disciples in the place where they were staying that they were overjoyed. Yet, one of the disciples, Thomas, was not present and doubted the resurrection of Christ. The following week, the disciples were still under MCO, and continued to practise social distancing and self-quarantine. Jesus appeared the second time to the disciples, and Thomas had his doubt removed.
 
There was hardly any victorious celebration on the first two Easter Sundays according to the narrative in John 20. Although Jesus had already appeared twice to the disciples, there was fear, anxiety, worry, and doubt. All they did was to go into hiding for a whole week. They had their self-imposed lockdown. No one proclaimed, “Jesus is risen” despite Jesus appearing twice to them.

​For the disciples, Easter is a new beginning for them. While there may not be much celebration on that first Easter, the impact of the resurrection of Christ changed them. The narrative of the restoration of Peter is an inspiration and encouragement to us today. If we feel that we are not worthy to serve the Lord because of our past failures, this passage reminds us that Jesus is not finished with us yet. Jesus called Peter again for the third time, “Follow me” after his resurrection. He was patient with Peter, and he gave Peter all the time and space for him to ponder, reflect, and respond. Jesus is calling us again today. Our current situation may also offer us the time and space needed for us to pause, reflect, and respond to the resurrected Lord. Easter is a new beginning.
 
Like the disciples, we may be at the crossroads of our lives, feeling lost and not knowing the next step we should take. We may be confused by recent events we have encountered. We may be worried about the post-COVID-19 aftermath. Some of us may be concerned with our business, employment, and our financial cash flow. In moments of frustration, disappointment, and discouragement, we may choose to go our own way and do things according to our own strength and effort. Some of us may have gone back “fishing” because it is the only thing we know what to do. Despite our failures, Jesus wants to reinstate and restore us to serve him. Easter gives us hope.
 
Like the disciples, in moments like these, it is time to accept the invitation of our Lord to have breakfast with him (John 21:12). It is time to renew our strength in his presence. It is time to sit at his feet again to hear his voice and guidance so that we can be his effective servants: “Feed my lambs… Tend my sheep… Feed my sheep… Follow me” (John 21:15, 16, 17, 19). 
 
This year’s Easter may be a bit quiet, and is certainly very different from what we may have been used to. Nevertheless, as we remember the confusion, the sense of loss, and the anxiety and fear of the disciples on the first Easter, may we be reminded that Easter is a new beginning and it gives us hope. May we be renewed on this Easter day. May we be reminded afresh why we follow Jesus. May we hear afresh his calling once again: “Follow me.” And most importantly, let us not forget to have breakfast with the resurrected Jesus – he is waiting for us. 
 
Christ is risen. He is risen indeed. Hallelujah. 

​Celebrating the Holy Communion is probably one of the most sacred rites for me as a priest. There has been ongoing discussion whether the Holy Communion can be celebrated virtually or not (for example, see the excellent essay by Ian Paul, “(How) can we celebrate Holy Communion as ‘online’ church?”). Biblical Graduate School of Theology, Singapore, has also produced a theological advisory on remote celebration of the Holy Communion. At the moment, there is no virtual Holy Communion for the Diocese of West Malaysia. 
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There is a sense of emptiness in me, a sense of despair, and a sense of frustration for not being able to gather together as a community to celebrate the Holy Communion. While I do participate in virtual services online, somehow it can never replace a real physical community where we recite the Nicene Creed together, we confess our sins together and hear the absolution pronounced, we share the peace of God with one another, and where I serve the host to those who come forward to receive the body of the Lord. For me, there is something missing.
 
This reminds me of how the Israelites of old lamenting and crying out to God while they were in exile. They could not worship in the Temple. They could only look back to the time they worshipped the Lord in his holy place. They longed for the coming of the Messiah to deliver them.

On August 15, 2019, my journey to the Anglican church marked another milestone when I was ordained as a Priest in the Diocese of West Malaysia, on the Feast of St Mary the Virgin at St Mary's Cathedral. 
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I have earlier shared about my personal journey to the Anglican church. The journey to priesthood is a continuation of the same journey, after having served the church and the seminary for 19 years. And I will continue to serve the church and the seminary, God willing, for the years ahead.

Thank you to many who have journeyed with me, supported me, and encouragement me all these years. I am thankful for all these the fellowship in the ministry of the gospel. 

Photo credits: Simon Kang and John Chan.

​A number of people have asked me about my journey to the Anglican church. Some are rather surprised by my decision while some expected it. Still others are amazed that it has taken me so long! Indeed, it has been a long journey for me. This journey to the Anglican church has taken more than 10 years. As I prepare for my ordination as a Deacon on Oct 31, 2018, I thought it would be good for me to pen down some of my reflections on my personal journey of faith.
 
Some have asked why I walked away from my Evangelical roots. Let me clarify. I did not run away from my Evangelical roots. It was not some strong push factors that tipped me over the other side. Rather, I was being drawn to something else. 
 
Over the last 10 years or so, there has been a greater desire drawing me towards the ancient practices and teachings rooted in the rich history and tradition of the church. As I began to explore the various strands of Christian spirituality, formation, and worship, I was drawn to Anglicanism with its immense value and richness in its history, theology, and practice. 

​This journey of discovery continued for many years. It was not until the beginning of 2015 that I decided to make St Paul’s Church, Petaling Jaya, my spiritual home, after a period of prayers, discernment, and consultation with my mentors and spiritual directors. I was confirmed as an Anglican at St Mark’s Church, Seremban, on January 14, 2018.

​I think it is important to state that I did not run, and I am not running from my former church. In fact, the church I left is a great church that places strong emphasis on worship, preaching, and mission. I love that church and the people there. Many friendships have been forged and we remain good and close friends until today. I am so indebted to many people there who care for me. Many invested in me and helped me become a more Christ-like person. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve the church and the people for more than 20 years as a Pastor, leader, and Board Member.
 
Here are some reasons why I am an Anglican.

​I have grown to love liturgy in worship. While some may find liturgy to be rigid, I discover it to be beautiful, meaningful, and moving. I learn to worship with my whole body that engages with all my senses – standing, kneeling, crossing myself, taking in the smell of incense (if incense is used), exchanging the Peace, receiving the Eucharist, and being sent out to love and serve the Lord. In liturgical spaces, all that I do become meaningful and symbolic. 
 
The liturgical calendar also reminds me of the various seasons of the year, moving from Advent to Christmas, Lent, Easter, Pentecost and Christ the King. In between, we commemorate other important Holy Days. As a community, we move through the seasons of the liturgical year together. We fast and feast together. There is a deep sense of celebrating and commemorating the different seasons of the liturgical calendar.

The theological formulations found in the Thirty-nine Articles clearly express what the gospel of Jesus Christ is. Together with the Book of Homilies, the Book of Common Prayer, and the historic creeds, I find the declarations of the great doctrines the Anglicans hold on to. God is worshipped in all his grandeur as creator. The work of Christ in his death and resurrection for the salvation of humanity is central. The Spirit in convicting sin and dwells in the lives of his people is emphasised. The truth of the Scripture is expressed with clarity. 
 
All these works never replace the Bible. At the heart of Anglican theology is the Bible. There is a well-known collect used by Anglicans for many centuries, reminding us that the Bible is the revelation of God through the words of human beings:

Blessed Lord, you have caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: grant that we may so hear them, read, mark, learn and inwardly digest them, that, by patience and comfort of your holy word we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Saviour Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

​One of the beautiful expressions of the Anglican Church is that we are never alone. We are not an independent church in a particular town or city. We are part of a large, historical, diverse, and global community. 
 
Whenever we gather to worship - whether we belong to a cathedral, a parish in a large metropolis or a small church in a tiny rural village that is cut off from the rest of the world - we are still engaging with a common faith, reading the same Scripture passages, praying the same prayers, confessing alongside one another, and participating in the Eucharist, despite our differences in ethnicity, culture, and language. 
 
Yet at the same time, we also recognise that all of us are shaped and formed by the culture of the communities we belong to. With this regards, there is respect for different areas of involvement in the church based on our unique local expressions, actions, issues. 

​I have shared some primary reasons that draw me into a way of life and a way of being a Christian in the Anglican Church. Of course, there are more reasons than what I have stated. There are personal reasons too: Teaching in an ecumenical seminary where the Anglican Church is one of the founding denominations; students whom I had taught in the past are now colleagues in the ministry; and many others. However, I have come to believe that this is where I belong, and for me, it is good to have a sense of coming home. I do understand this is a personal journey - what works for me may not necessary work for others. As long as we find a home where we worship God, serve the people, and grow in maturity with the community, that is the best place to belong.
 
As a minister of the gospel since 2009 with the Evangelical Free Church of Malaysia, it is only natural that I seek for ordination in the Diocese of West Malaysia. With the encouragement of the Bishop and fellow colleagues, I have decided to offer myself as a candidate for the Holy Office. Having gone through the process of interview and fulfilling the requirements stipulated by the Diocese, the first reading of Si Quis was done on September 16, 2018 at my home church, St Paul’s Church, paving the way for my ordination as a Deacon, God willing, on Reformation Day, October 31, 2018.